One of my favorite places to hike on Vashon is Fisher Pond. I like to go alone and I always start on the part of the trail closest to the road. I start here purposely. This part of the trail is narrow and has a lot of exposed tree roots.
These roots mean that I need to watch my feet and where I put them. It causes me to slow my mind and to concentrate on walking without tripping. Its not easy to slow my mind. It is usually going 100 miles an hour. Its why I write so much. I have to get the thoughts out or my head feels like it will explode. But when I am walking this part of the trail I have to focus on my feet and my mind slows down. It is the opening that God so patiently waits for. I know God is a patient God because He has me as a child and He still manages to get me to listen. Some people can be still anywhere and hear Jesus, not me. I can't do it even at night, I can't usually even sleep at night because my mind is racing. I sometimes can still myself during prayer but not always, so I walk this trail.
By the time I reach the gazebo area that overlooks the pond I am still and I can even sit there and listen to my breathing and wait on the Lord. God doesn't always speak to me but I know if He is going to it is only after I slow my mind and sit with myself.
Today God did speak to me. I had hoped He would as I was seeking clarity and direction. There is something wonderfully unexpected transpiring in my life and I really needed some stillness. I am embarking on a new path with a person who I believe is the great love of my life. The kind of love you only read about in fairy tales. It has been a bit of a roller coaster for me, why, well because of my mind. All the fears and insecurities we all have when we are falling deeply in love are often magnified ten fold in my over productive brain. When I fear I have a tendency to run. I allowed that fear to extinguish the peace. I know that this relationship has been given to me by Jesus and that I should just have absolute peace but I didn't. She has absolute peace, is steadfast in her love for me and has never wavered from the get go. Not me. I ran, let doubt creep in and in the process hurt her. For this I have asked forgiveness and both she and God have been generous with their grace. This woman is a precious gift God has given me. A second chance at happiness. There is a depth in our relationship that I had only dreamed of. A love where God is at the center. So I came to Fisher Pond today to keep that stillness happening to make sure to seek His voice and guidance. I'm always glad when I do.
If you have walked this trail all the way around the pond then you know that when you leave the gazebo and head away from the road the path is smooth and wide. I could easily devolve back into my head and let those engines run but for some reason I don't. My mind stays still and I am able to listen to birds, feel the breeze, and know that God's presence surrounds me.
Love is good ...God is good...
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