Lately I have been struggling with my relationship with my wife’s best friend. Her friendship with Meghen has been strained the last couple of years and when Meghen finally asked her why, she replied that it was due to me and how, since I have returned to faith, I have changed and she does not like being around me. At first I was defensive, stating that I had not changed. But how could that be true as God’s love is so transformative, I had changed. So I accepted that I had changed but I could not figure out how those obviously good changes could make her not like me. I am used to people not liking me or not wanting to hang out with me but it is generally because I am too intense, too self-absorbed, etc. I have even had people not like me because I am gay. But I am not sure I have ever had someone not like me based on my following Jesus.
Over the last few months I have accepted her not liking me. I still had love in my heart for her and I was basically indifferent to the whole situation. But knowing how it is affecting my wife is starting to get to me. Meghen misses their friendship and she is entirely blameless in its demise. Seeing her sense of loss and sadness is starting to make me hate this person. That coupled with the fact that she will not even put her disdain for me aside to come to my wife’s 40th birthday party. I feel my heart hardening towards her and this seed of hate growing. I have felt completely justified in what I feel is a rationale reason to hate this person.
This is where God’s perfect timing comes in.
I have been reading a book about the Apostle Paul but put it aside to start this book on God’s Love - If God Is Love: Rediscovering Grace In An Ungracious World. Not sure why, I was enjoying the Paul book but for some reason I decided to throw the other one in my backpack to read on my commute. I am only about half way through the book and it is challenging me. Not that it is presenting a premise that I don’t wholeheartedly agree with but is challenging me to LOVE and to do in my own life the same things I am always encouraging others to do in theirs.
In the chapter titled - Being Gracious it states: “Most people talk more radically than they live. The challenge is to live more radically than your talk.” I accept and believe in God’s universal grace and I believe and accept that Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves. I know that Jesus was all about loving the unlovable, the marginalized, those that society had discarded.
In the gospel of Luke we read the story of the lawyer who tests Jesus by asking; “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life? Jesus said to him, “What is written in the law? What do you read there?” He answered. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all of your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” And Jesus said to him, “You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live”
This is where God’s perfect timing comes in.
I have been reading a book about the Apostle Paul but put it aside to start this book on God’s Love - If God Is Love: Rediscovering Grace In An Ungracious World. Not sure why, I was enjoying the Paul book but for some reason I decided to throw the other one in my backpack to read on my commute. I am only about half way through the book and it is challenging me. Not that it is presenting a premise that I don’t wholeheartedly agree with but is challenging me to LOVE and to do in my own life the same things I am always encouraging others to do in theirs.
In the chapter titled - Being Gracious it states: “Most people talk more radically than they live. The challenge is to live more radically than your talk.” I accept and believe in God’s universal grace and I believe and accept that Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves. I know that Jesus was all about loving the unlovable, the marginalized, those that society had discarded.
In the gospel of Luke we read the story of the lawyer who tests Jesus by asking; “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life? Jesus said to him, “What is written in the law? What do you read there?” He answered. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all of your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” And Jesus said to him, “You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live”
(Luke 10:25-28)
This was a simple message but a daunting challenge. Is not the person that I am starting to have feelings of hatred towards my neighbor? I am humbled by the fact that I am struggling with the most basic and yet most important instruction that Jesus gave us. I think loving the Lord your God AND loving your neighbor as yourself are tied together in a way that if you don’t do the latter you are certainly not really doing the first. I think we have to be able to love our fellow man in order to love God with ALL of our heart.
My prayer is that God will soften my heart and continue His work in me to help me to love as He so loves us. And that I might live more radically and truly walk the talk.
This was a simple message but a daunting challenge. Is not the person that I am starting to have feelings of hatred towards my neighbor? I am humbled by the fact that I am struggling with the most basic and yet most important instruction that Jesus gave us. I think loving the Lord your God AND loving your neighbor as yourself are tied together in a way that if you don’t do the latter you are certainly not really doing the first. I think we have to be able to love our fellow man in order to love God with ALL of our heart.
My prayer is that God will soften my heart and continue His work in me to help me to love as He so loves us. And that I might live more radically and truly walk the talk.
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