A while back
Meghen’s best friend told her that the reason she had not made any real effort
to sustain their friendship was because I had
changed since my return to faith.
I have
spent a good deal of time thinking about this and feeling bad and also somewhat
guilty that I cost Meghen this friendship.
I also denied any change and asked friends who knew me well before and
after if there was any merit in her statement.
This morning
on my ferry ride in to work it hit me that, of course it is true. Since “my conversion”, (for lack of better
word), I have changed. I am
different. I am made “new” in Christ. When I look back on my journey
out of faith and back into faith, I do see the changes and more importantly, I feel
these changes.
The years I spent trying
to deny what I knew in my heart to be true were hard. It was a constant battle trying to convince
myself to not believe and to shut any doors that could possibly be open to any acceptance of Jesus. I look back and I see God’s faithfulness to
me, His steady hand in my life. I am grateful that God does not give up on us as
we so often give up on Him. I have a
peace in my soul now and a joy that I cannot adequately explain.
So I guess Meg’s friend is right, I have
changed.
1 comment:
It sounds a bit like a baggage issue to me. After briefly toying with atheism, my own sentiments with regard to matters of faith have thawed. But the religious baggage that led me to the edge of the abyss is still there. Religion takes what is good and pure and tries to turn it into us versus them. Who is in and who is out, that becomes the question. So when you say your faith is renewed, I am not surprised that you have met with resistance. Whether or not it is true, there is a perception that Christians are judgmental of those who do not share their faaith.
That being said, if anyone can break the stereotype, it is you. I am happy that you have found a path that works for you. I am still in the bushes, but at least I am seeking again.
Great post!
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